A community wedding

Mar 21, 2011 Published under Funnies

Body: A friend of my wife’s is getting married and I loooved the way she is going about her wedding celebration that I am sharing some of her FAQs b/c they are funny, creative and totally romantic in their refreshing approach:

FAQ

WHEN’S THE BIG DAY?

[On X date]. Come to see if this happens.

WHERE’S THIS SHINDIG GONNA GO DOWN?

In Manhattan at [an environmentally conscious community event place]

AM I INVITED? HOW COME I DIDN’T GET AN INVITATION IN THE MAIL?

If you or someone in your family got an email from us directing you to this page,it means you are invited. We are not sending out paper invitations for several reasons, which we will chalk up to saving the environment (and not convenience, laziness or anything of the sort). So check your email inbox and RSVP by X, by clicking on the RSVP above. Both the website and the e-card were created by our friend, [XX], so make sure he gets an extra taco at the wedding.

DO I GET A PLUS ONE?

If you have to ask. . .then yes. Been dating someone for a few months? Sure, that’s cool. Looking to impress someone you met the week before? Bring them to the Observation Deck at Empire State Building. That’ll impress ‘em.

BOA OR FEDORA, WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?

Dress is casual chic. It’s June in New York, so it could be hot. The wedding is outside and under a tent. Guayabera’s are encouraged for men. For women, dress colorfully and comfortably. If you’re bringing a toddler, dress him/her up in something extra cute so the entire wedding can comment on it the whole night.

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

We’ll be serving tacos, corn on the cob and various other foods. There will be vegetarian options and no pork.

AT WHICH TABLE AM I? PLEASE DON’T SAY TABLE #13.

We’ll have tables for our senior guests, and those who need to rest their feet, but most folks will be standing and/or dancing.

YES, BUT, WILL DRINKS BE SERVED?

Yes. We’ll have wine and beer and even a margarita machine. Feel free to bring your own flask if you like, you drunkard. We will also have non-alcoholic drinks and coffee.

WHAT IF I HAVE TO USE THE RESTROOM?

By all means, please do. Don’t let us stop you. The venue will have restrooms.

HOW BIG IS YOUR CAKE?

Not that big. In the spirit of a community wedding, we ask guests who are local residents to bring a dessert of their choice to share with others.

WHERE ARE YOU REGISTERED?

We live in a small one bedroom apartment in Manhattan. As much as we would appreciate your gifts, we just don’t have the space for them. Rather, we ask you to please make a donation to [ORG hosting them], who has graciously provided the beautiful venue for the wedding. Those of you have recently gotten married, know how huge that is. Those of you who have gotten married in New York, know how even more huge that is.

XXXX inspires New Yorkers to become environmentally responsible city dwellers through a variety of unique programs XXXX. We have enjoyed the space as neighbors and passers by on our weekly Sunday bike rides to our hockey games and are very excited to get married here.

WHAT IF I STILL WANT TO SEND YOU A GIFT?

Thanks, but no thanks.Buy us a beer somewhere down the line.

REALLY?

Yes, really. Drop it. DONATE.

I USUALLY STAY AT YOUR APARTMENT WHEN I VISIT NEW YORK. OK TO CRASH WITH YOU?

No.

FINE, BE THAT WAY. ANY SPOTS YOU RECOMMEND?

Your old college roommate who said "I’m moving to New York!" on graduation day and you haven’t seen since. Or your aunt who lives in Queens who you’ve been meaning to visit for years.

MY COLLEGE ROOMMATE HAS FOUR KIDS AND LIVES IN WICHITA. MY AUNT AND I, WELL, WE HAD A FALLING OUT. ANYTHING ELSE?

xxx

The Jane Hotel (thejanenyc.com) is a great place for single occupancy (meaning very small), just $99/night and right next to the Highline Park in Chelsea. And you’ll have fellow guests joining you for brunch at Cafe Gitane in the lobby.

Hotels aren’t the only way to go though. You can also look up www.airbnb.com, or www.vrbo.com where you can book vacation rentals when people go out of town. We’ve seen a studio apt in Times Square on the site for $168/night or a private room in an apartment for $89/night. Feel free to ask us about neighborhoods.

Also look Hotels.com targetting areas such as Midtown, Chelsea, and Times Square.

And, there are likely a ton of apartment swaps on Craigslist. Williamsburg in Brooklyn may have some deals, and that is just one subway stop from the wedding venue. Also, orbitz.com, kayak.com and other travel sites might have some good deals.

ONE LAST TRY ON THE GIFTS. YOU SURE I CAN’T GET YOU AN OVERSIZED "ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE" PICTURE FRAME?

Yes. We’re fine, thanks. Please consider making a donation instead. We would be forever thankful for your contribution to making this wedding happen, and supporting an organization that means a lot to us

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