A Mother’s Strength in a Struggle Against Autism
This is an article that showed unusual insight and courage, in writing and in life.
Obama Family Highlights American Dream at Democratic Convention
I hope every American family tonight got a chance to listen to Michelle Obama’s speech and to see the girls playfully send regards to their Dad.
Her speech should shatter any sown doubts about her patriotism, & her commitment to what is great about America & the American dream. More important, seeing the family interact with such natural warmth should highlight their commonality with all Americans and hopefully uproot vestiges of race-based suspicion.
Touching Human Story - Love Between the Rubble
It is rare that the first few paragraphs of a story in the New York Times will make one cry. But this story about the quake catastrophe in China is just such an example of human love and the quest for survival amidst adversity.
The Last Lecture
This guy, Randy Pausch, is truly inspiring. Make sure you tune in till the end of his presentation.
Passover Bondage In Modernity
My sister had a really interesting observation on the modern forms of bondage that we experience, relating to the spiritual aspects of Passover…
A Dream About My Father
Last night, I had a painful nightmare. My Dad was having convulsions, pain in his chest and stomach, and I was helpless, unable to help him. He was dying of what seemed like a heart attack, and I was paralyzed with fear.
The image has haunted me all day.
My Dad passed away four and a half years ago, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him, but never this way. I remember his kindness, his love for life, his good sense of humor, his treating every human being with respect.
I think the nightmare must have emanated from the subconscious but deep frustration I’ve experienced this last week with encountering so much pain, fear and ignorance, all transformed into hatred and anger, from vocal minorities that do not recognize the imperative of resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict by recognizing the humanity and rights of both sides.
I think the helplessness in the dream was a metaphor for the deep feeling of disappointment that I shared with all my team and all our volunteers for the setbacks in showing the voices of moderation on both sides, as we had intended.
The fear I sensed is probably the fear of not being able to carry out our ultimate vision of bringing peace to the region, a mission I set for myself to do what I can so that others will not have to suffer the way my Father did in the Holocaust, which to me translates as the imperative of resolving the conflict so that the Israeli and Palestinian people will both have a future of freedom, security, dignity, and respect, not to mention to build prosperity and progress and light for the world.
What my Dad had to go through, I don’t want anyone again to go through. I know I can’t help in all the areas where people ARE going through this (like Darfour!), but at least I want to make what little contribution I can to help the Israeli and Palestinian people. And yet the utter dehumanization and self-righteousness that has overtaken some small but vocal segments of the population makes this an even harder task.
I don’t want to give up, as much as it is tempting to just say, "I’ve had enough."
But too much is at stake.
I don’t want to be overtaken with anger and hatred myself, as increasingly hard as it is. I need to resist the impulses, to try to understand, and to channel frustrations to constructive action.
I don’t want to disappoint the memory of my Father, as much as I fear doing so.
Frustrations and Excitement
The tensions each of us is feeling at OneVoice as we have so much on our plates to accomplish are palpable. This weekend I go back to the Middle East, to support OneVoice Palestine and OneVoice Israel on their efforts. Earlier today we held our last team meeting with the NY staff. Prior to starting, I asked each team member to share their greatest source of frustration and their greatest source of excitement. The answers were interesting:
Jake:
Greatest Frustration: when people don’t get it, don’t realize what is at stake, don’t realize the potential to forge change.
Greatest Hope: when really smart people who have been around for quite a while look at this and say, wow, this thing can really transform the region.
Darya:
Greatest Frustration: Getting Sick right in the middle of this whole thing and not being able to distinguish anymore between frustrations from being ill vs. frustrations from all the burdens of this big campaign; [about half the office is under the weather, staying up late at night and working long hours]
Greatest Excitement: Her Majesty Queen Noor Joining as Honorary Co-Chair today.
Erin:
Greatest Frustration: Being Sick Also!
Greatest Excitement: Yahoo Signing Up to Web-stream the OneVoice Summit Live
Natalie:
Greatest Frustration: when so many people are out because of the Jewish or Muslim Holidays and we need them now, to complete the SMS platform and other tasks;
Greatest Excitement: That amidst all the stress, the office environment is constructive and supportive, with everyone united, respectful, and positive
Adee:
Greatest Frustration: Not enough time in the day, the email box is out of control; and on top of executing Oct 18, we need to raise funds and organize fundraising efforts in the midst of the campaign.
Greatest Excitement: A number of hawkish right-wing hold-outs are coming on board and embracing the OneVoice message and methodology; even her Dad is getting involved and is proud (though from what I have seen, he is ALWAYS proud of Adee)
Laurel:
Greatest Disappointment; A friend canceled an after-party in Jericho [because of misinformation, being co-opted by negative voices that threaten the action of moderates, and are threatened thereby]
Greatest Excitement: A training session for student activists in DC included an impressive array of activists totally passionate and committed to the cause.
Alana:
Greatest Frustration: Microsoft Outlook2003, and all that it involves: out of control email, hard to keep up,
Greatest Hope: realizing this IS going to HAPPEN. Friends from both sides coming to listen.
Miriam:
Greatest Frustration: realizing that pulling off the event in Capitol Hill/Washington DC will be harder than imagined and that key elements are daunting.
Greatest Excitement: a great army of students, a great program, and scores of people coming from across country to the DC event.
Yizkor for my Dad
Yizkor happens five times a year, during holy days of Judaism. During Yizkor prayer services, people who lost their loved ones repeat the Kaddish prayers that they conducted on a daily basis during the first year of their family member’s passing.
For me Yizkor is a time when I go back to the memories of my Dad, and I focus on reminiscing about him.
It terrifies me and depresses me when I feel like the memories of my Dad are becoming more faint and distant.
So I try hard to remember the smallest of details, the most random experiences.
Like when he taught me how to build model rockets that we would then shoot up in the sky.
Or when he taught me how to melt lead to make tin soldiers, or how to turn on a steam machine.
Or when he gave me advice about dating my first girlfriend.
Or when he spoke to me about what it was like to be in Dachau and how his father helped him through to survive.
Or when I last saw him smile, with proud eyes, when I visited him and my Mom on my way out to the airport when visiting in Puerto Vallarta.
Or how he liked to hug his children with unconditional love, and how we fought to lay by his side and hug him even as we got older.
How he treated everyone with warmth and respect, whether it was the President of the bank or the bank’s janitor.
How he managed to make everyone whose path he’d cross just a little bit happier.
How he would organize an "orchestra" with his four children each playing a different kitchen utensil.
Kaddish, Four and A Half Years After
When my Dad passed away, I struggled a lot at the beginning with the concept of doing Kaddish. Kaddish is a Jewish prayer where one exhalts, praises and blesses G’d. It is a blessing recited by people who have lost a close relative (parent, child, sibling, or spouse). The first year after the passing of the family member, it has to be recited on a daily basis, three times a day, at temple.
It was a significant time commitment, but that did not trouble me.
What most bothered me about Kaddish was the seemingly arrogant conceit that G’d would even care about our blessing him. Why is this even necessary? Why would the all-powerful, omnipresent, life force care about our singing him praises? Who do we think we are? Why does this matter?
Rabbi Scheinberg from San Antonio, Texas asked me to give this a shot, for one month. And if I didn’t find meaning in it by then, we’d find something else for me to do to honor my Dad’s memory. (He also asked me to read Pirkei Abott, which if anyone - Jewish or not Jewish - has not done, I strongly recommend). My Dad was not religious, but he had done Kaddish for his Father and I felt it was important I do the same. So I tried.
I found over the course of that month and year, which coincided with the year when OneVoice and PeaceWorks both started growing very fast, that the daily prayers helped me gain strength and focus. They enabled me to channel my pain at those moments of the day, and then get through the rest of the day. They also helped me stay grounded and keep things in context.
There is an intellectually interesting Rabbinical theory about the concept of how G’d needs to contract its force and presence in order to let us gain our freedom of choice, and how our prayers - our mental exercises and meditation - help in turn expand the influence of G’d force. Ying Yang.
The helpful but repetitive book Kaddish by Leon Wieseltier details the political history of Kaddish services, and how they helped communities keep Judaism alive.
Certainly affirming God’s righteousness at a time when you are most vulnerable and upset by the pain of losing those you love the most is a powerful and difficult exercise.
But what is most compelling about Kaddish and all other rites of Judaism related to mourning is how much these are designed to help one cope with the loss, by providing clear moments for introspection but by also requiring us to live our lives, by providing different phases for mourning that help us graduate slowly back into daily life, from the first week (when you sit Shiva at home with your family, cocooned inside under the mantle of your loved one’s still present energy), to the first month (where you cannot cut your beard or hair and still are raw with the pain of loss and the hovering presence of your loved one), to the first eleven months, where you have to avoid "Simcha" or Joys as, it is told, the soul of your loved one rises up to the Shchina, or eternal light… …throughout all these phases, Judaism is there to help you cope.
Yom Kippur with My Family
I wrote before about Yom Kippur and fasting. But like all things Jews do, we manage to eat a lot, so the pre-fast meal and post-fast dinner more than make up for the lack of food during the fast.
This is the first year since my Dad passed away that all of our family was able to be together for Yom Kippur. Since my Dad’s passing I think it has been subconsciously harder on all of us to be all together, because it only highlights my Dad’s absence. Still, I think this weekend we were able to enjoy each other and remember my Dad by doing so.
My nieces and nephews - the reason why we want this to be a better world (and hopefully soon when I have my own children):
Being in Los Angeles is very different from cramped NYC. Just to give you an example, I think this salad bowl is bigger than my apartment in NYC:
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Progressive Business Ventures
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Enterpreneurial Social Ventures
