Daniel Lubetzky

A revolution inside the human brain is taking place far beyond our capacity to understand.

What we call "A.D.D." or attention-deficit-disorder will become the norm rather than the exception, if it hasn’t already.

Our brains used to de-construct and decompress during leisurely walks between work and home, but if you see people walking nowadays, odds are they are speaking on a cell phone.  No time to waste: we crave more input.

Email processing makes us "efficient" (though it can also invade our management time) but changes the very way we organize ourselves and communicate.  The constant feedback mechanism turns us into creatures desiring a flow of data and messages.

Instant-messaging, social network platforms, the way we seek news over the internet, and email reminders, are all transforming the way we think, process, relate to other human beings, and relate to our brains.

The impact of this constant-feedback/short-span model of communications is already felt in entertainment platforms, where Youtube’s short-clips are becoming more the rage than long-format movies. 

When we design a video presentation for OneVoice or PeaceWorks, of course we forget about the 1 hour or 20 minute pieces, but now even the 5 minute piece which was acceptable a few years ago is a total eternity.  You have 1 minute max to convey your message, no matter how deep or complex.  After that you’ve lost your audience.

I will not be surprised if the next generation of human beings is radically different in the way people relate to one another.  We have no idea what we are going to become.

And I have a fleeting feeling (as feelings and thoughts increasingly are) that it is not going to be pretty.

It’s funny how you tell yourself you will avoid some of the rites of passage that people go through from living in NYC, thinking you of all people will be impervious to them, and then, before you know it, you realize you have succumbed…

When you first move to NYC, one of the first things you notice is that people walking on the streets don’t look at or greet each other, let alone smile. 

You think to yourself, I will look at people’s eyes, I will say hello, I will make them all smile, I will single-handedly transform NYC into the friendliest of cities. 

And you experiment for the first year or two, even if people think you are crazy – or can tell you are just new.

Then somewhere along the way, it just happens, gradually, till you stop staring into the walker-by’s eyes with a smile.  It’s not that you are rude or mean.  You just go about your business.

You get to NYC thinking you will always have time for everyone, you will always be polite and open doors and be relaxed.  But 15 years later, you are always in a rush, and you sometimes catch yourself in your own bubble.

Then there is NY REAL ESTATE.  Reading the Real Estate Section in the NY Times is a sport in NYC, and everyone talks about it.  Yet you think you will avoid it altogether and won’t be bothered with such obsessions. 

Alas, one day you find yourself reading the Real Estate section, following the market, wondering when it will adjust, becoming an "expert" in square footage, valuations, and all sorts of trends and considerations.  Eventually you are drawn like a magnet to any new piece of input on the real estate.

And then there is the Wall Street Journal, though more than a NY thing, this is more a rite of passage from youth I guess (and regret).  When I was in college, and even during law school, reading the Wall Street Journal was such a bore, while the NYT was so fascinating.  WSJ was numbers.  NYT was people.  WSJ was dry.  NYT was passion. 

I don’t know if it’s that the NYT has gone so down editorially and the WSJ has improved so much, or that as you get older your way of thinking changes, or that the WSJ is more sophisticated or complex, but something about the NYT increasingly bores me, and I find the WSJ far more stimulating…

I received this poem in spanish from my friend Ary Kahan (I have tried to translate it into English in parentheses)

Los locos dan festines (The Crazy throw feasts)

Y los cuerdos son los invitados. (And the Sane are guests)

Los locos viven inventando mundos (The Crazy live inventing worlds)

Y los cuerdos en mundos inventados. (while the Sane live in invented worlds)

Los locos crean castillos (The Crazy create castles)

Y los cuerdos los habitan. (which the Sane inhabit)

Los locos son mitad sueño (The Crazy are half dream)

Y los cuerdos sueño a la mitad. (And the Sane dream halfway)

Los locos crean la música (The Crazy create the music)

Y los cuerdos son los escuchas. (and the Sane are the ones who hear it)

Los locos son personajes (The Crazy are characters)

Y los cuerdos los actores. (And the Sane are actors)

Los locos son la poesía (The Crazy are poetry)

Los cuerdos quienes redactan. (And the Sane are redactors)

Los locos son la pintura (The Crazy are the painting)

Y los cuerdos solo pintan. (And the Sane just paint)

Los locos viven en muchos mundos (The Crazy live in many worlds)

Y los cuerdos en la tierra. (And the Sane live on earth)

Los locos se sienten libres (The Crazy feel free)

Y los cuerdos los encierran. (And the Sane enclose them)

¿Y Tu a qué grupo perteneces? (And you, which group do you belong to?)

Autor/Author: Ary Kahan

More and more
The darkness haunts me
The memory of before I was
The stone sinking deeper into the sea
The inevitability of evil
Will it never change?

More and more
The sleepless nights
The failure to bring light
The stone sinks deeper, a rope attached around:
A noose around humanity

More and more
The breathing gets harder
The tears are dry, crude salt
A grayer soul has seen the tombs
A frayed body finds its limitations

Maybe he was right that knowledge burns and hardens the heart.
Maybe he was right that only Generals can set the tone.
Would a final offering, foregoing life’s sustenance itself, awaken?

The Templeton Foundation is conducting a "conversation" among scholars and scientists, who each month are asked a "Big Question."  One of the questions asked was, "Does the Universe Have a Purpose?" and the answers were very interesting.

Among those who provided an answer was Elie Wiesel, who started by writing, "I hope so.  And if it doesn’t, it’s up to us to give it one."

He also adds, "Though God created the world, it is up to people to preserve, respect, enrich, embellish, and populate it, without bringing violence to it."

Last night, I had a painful nightmare.  My Dad was having convulsions, pain in his chest and stomach, and I was helpless, unable to help him.  He was dying of what seemed like a heart attack, and I was paralyzed with fear.

The image has haunted me all day.

My Dad passed away four and a half years ago, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him, but never this way.  I remember his kindness, his love for life, his good sense of humor, his treating every human being with respect.

I think the nightmare must have emanated from the subconscious but deep frustration I’ve experienced this last week with encountering so much pain, fear and ignorance, all transformed into hatred and anger, from vocal minorities that do not recognize the imperative of resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict by recognizing the humanity and rights of both sides.

I think the helplessness in the dream was a metaphor for the deep feeling of disappointment that I shared with all my team and all our volunteers for the setbacks in showing the voices of moderation on both sides, as we had intended. 

The fear I sensed is probably the fear of not being able to carry out our ultimate vision of bringing peace to the region, a mission I set for myself to do what I can so that others will not have to suffer the way my Father did in the Holocaust, which to me translates as the imperative of resolving the conflict so that the Israeli and Palestinian people will both have a future of freedom, security, dignity, and respect, not to mention to build prosperity and progress and light for the world.

What my Dad had to go through, I don’t want anyone again to go through.  I know I can’t help in all the areas where people ARE going through this (like Darfour!), but at least I want to make what little contribution I can to help the Israeli and Palestinian people.  And yet the utter dehumanization and self-righteousness that has overtaken some small but vocal segments of the population makes this an even harder task.

I don’t want to give up, as much as it is tempting to just say, "I’ve had enough." 

But too much is at stake.

I don’t want to be overtaken with anger and hatred myself, as increasingly hard as it is.  I need to resist the impulses, to try to understand, and to channel frustrations to constructive action.

I don’t want to disappoint the memory of my Father, as much as I fear doing so.

Yizkor happens five times a year, during holy days of Judaism.  During Yizkor prayer services, people who lost their loved ones repeat the Kaddish prayers that they conducted on a daily basis during the first year of their family member’s passing.

For me Yizkor is a time when I go back to the memories of my Dad, and I focus on reminiscing about him.

It terrifies me and depresses me when I feel like the memories of my Dad are becoming more faint and distant.

So I try hard to remember the smallest of details, the most random experiences.

Like when he taught me how to build model rockets that we would then shoot up in the sky. 

Or when he taught me how to melt lead to make tin soldiers, or how to turn on a steam machine. 

Or when he gave me advice about dating my first girlfriend.

Or when he spoke to me about what it was like to be in Dachau and how his father helped him through to survive. 

Or when I last saw him smile, with proud eyes, when I visited him and my Mom on my way out to the airport when visiting in Puerto Vallarta.

Or how he liked to hug his children with unconditional love, and how we fought to lay by his side and hug him even as we got older. 

How he treated everyone with warmth and respect, whether it was the President of the bank or the bank’s janitor. 

How he managed to make everyone whose path he’d cross just a little bit happier. 

How he would organize an "orchestra" with his four children each playing a different kitchen utensil.

here is a link to a poem I wrote about my Dad on the second year anniversary of his passing.  Gentle Tree.

I wrote before about Yom Kippur and fasting.  But like all things Jews do, we manage to eat a lot, so the pre-fast meal and post-fast dinner more than make up for the lack of food during the fast.

This is the first year since my Dad passed away that all of our family was able to be together for Yom Kippur.  Since my Dad’s passing I think it has been subconsciously harder on all of us to be all together, because it only highlights my Dad’s absence.  Still, I think this weekend we were able to enjoy each other and remember my Dad by doing so.

My nieces and nephews – the reason why we want this to be a better world (and hopefully soon when I have my own children):

Being in Los Angeles is very different from cramped NYC.  Just to give you an example, I think this salad bowl is bigger than my apartment in NYC:

How does a secular Jew relate to prayer? What is the meaning of Judaism, particularly in the modern world? 

What I love about Judaism has always been its overarching emphasis on striving to become better human beings.  The golden rule stems from Judaism: Do onto others…

I particularly admire the concept of “Tikun Olam”, that we are here in this world to make it better, to heal it.  I was raised in my Mexican Jewish school reading stories from Isaac Bashevis Singer and other Yiddish writers about that humble Rabbi’s unassuming good deeds in the shtetl (the little village in the farmlands of Eastern Europe).

Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year for the Jewish people.  It is not a day for celebration, though, as much as for introspection accompanied by a fast (so, instead of telling a Jewish person “Happy Yom Kippur”, you may want to say “Have an Easy Fast” or “Gmar Hatima Tova”, which means, may you be inscribed in the heavenly book).

When Yom Kippur comes, I try to use prayer as a way to meditate on how I can improve as a human being.  These are some of the reflections and areas I thought about – and will work on – improving:

Try to be more patient.  Try to be more patient with my Mom.  Try to be more patient with my team.

Try to be more empathetic and understanding.

Strive to be a better son.

Strive to be a better partner to Michelle.

Strive to be a better brother.

Strive to be a better friend.

Strive to be a better team member, mentor, CEO, colleague.

Be on time.  Be on time.  Be on time!

Fight all instincts at arrogance, conceit, self-importance, superiority, and haughtiness.

Treat every human being with respect and as an equal.

Be a better coach, be more supportive of my team, empower my team more, be better at guiding, trusting, strengthening.

Expect nothing from anyone, fight any sense of entitlement, never feel any support is not enough or not acceptable, be genuinely grateful for any support any person gives to the OneVoice Movement.

Never speak bad of others, never criticize people behind their back.

Give more time to my team at the company, and be thankful to them for their understanding for the time I have judged I need to give to OneVoice.

Strengthen and support my team for their professional and personal growth.

Be tolerant of errors, and guide team to excellence in a positive way.

Strive for justice, equality, peace, progress, light, prosperity, respect, humanity.

Fight terrorism, fight fundamentalism, fight to extinguish all forms of violent extremism.

Reject, uproot and actively fight any form of crime, abuse, mistreatment, cruelty, or injustice.

While prayer some times contains allegorical words designed to take you to a place where you can ponder and reflect on your role in the big scheme of things and on the importance of keeping in perspective what we each are in the grand design of life, some Yom Kippur prayers are actually quite poignant in teaching all of us to recognize we are far more imperfect than we would like to acknowledge.

Here is an example of prayers about sins we seek absolution from, from the seemingly mundane to the truly wicked, which I would not have thought about in my singular reflection but which all congregants probably realize we need to work on:

For the sin of the mocking voice,

For the sin of the clenched fist,

For the sin of the deceitful smile,

For the sin of spoken falsehood,

For the sin of enjoying violence

For the sin of causeless hatred….we seek forgiveness.

Somehow the way these are written, it makes you come to terms with your imperfections and failings.  "For the sin of spoken falsehood" – yes, nicer way to put it but I guess I’ve lied at some point in the course of last year, and I regret that…

And also the following:

We have sinned against you by polluting your earth

We have sinned against you through evil thoughts

We have sinned against you through false pride

We have sinned against you through wanton glances

We have sinned against you by envy

We have sinned against you by committing iniquity

We have sinned against you by hardening our hearts

We have sinned against you by being stubborn

We have sinned against you by perverting justice.

The above are NOT verbatim or in order, just to the best of my recollection, and from cryptic little notes I took…against the edict of not writing during Yom Kippur…

This last summer and the next couple months, because of the work I am doing for October 18′s One Million Voices Summit, I realized I would need to live the life of a hermit.  I spent the last eight weeks in the Middle East, then 1 week in China, now am in the US traveling between CA, NY, DC and TX over the next month, and then will be back in the Middle East during October.

In preparation for this schedule, I had already packed most of my stuff and shipped it for warehousing or to my home in San Antonio and Tel Aviv.  Besides one suitcase of clothes, I packed one mid-size box with only the most essential things that I realized I would need when back in the US.

Today I found that box.  I had marked it "Essential Stuff."  I hadn’t needed all of these "essential" things for months, and I had forgotten all about it.  I still haven’t opened it, and don’t feel like it anymore.

I was struck at how little we actually need to function, and how all of these possessions actually make your life harder than easier some times.

I still remember our wise law school buddy Jonathan Guy, when he commented on how material possessions tie you and bog you down, how they impinge your freedom in so many ways.  Such wisdom from my dear friend Jonathan (though when I visited him a few years later at his beautiful home in DC, with a Porsche parked in his garage, his teachings rang a little less authoritative).