Daniel Lubetzky

In a prior blog entry here, I shared an insight from Linda Gallanter, that your goal when raising children should be to give them purpose, rather than for them to be "happy." If they find purpose, they will find happiness.  If you obsess with their immediate happiness as a goal, they may just end up spoiled or feeling self-entitled.

But in reading an excellent article from Andrea Elliot, The Jihadist Next Door, and in remembering some concepts from a novel (OD&H) I started trying to write a decade ago but never finished, one should remember that "purpose" is a double-edged sword.  A lot of the most dangerous people find purpose alright – to destroy or vanquish or eliminate. 

So the caveat should be that Purpose needs to be Positive.  And since Positive is a normative word whose definition may be in the eye of the beholder (ie, for Omar Hammami, killing infidels in Somalia is a Positive act), I would define Positive as rooted in TOLERANCE AND RESPECT TOWARDS OTHER HUMAN BEINGS – or the golden rule of doing onto others as you would want to be done on to you.

Elliot’s article also highlights that the same attributes of leaders in society – being smart, curious, introspective, analytical, charismatic, determined – can be dangerous if not rooted in tolerance.

Ironically, Omar Hammami was brought up by a Muslim Dad and Christian Mom.  So you would think that environment can foster diversity and respect (as it has in countless of PeaceWorks and OneVoice team members I have met over the years whose parents come from different backgrounds.  Alas, in this case, the teachings that Hammami got from Islam and from Christianity were exclusionary and rooted in intolerance.  He would be warned by his Mom’s family and church in Alabama that he would go to hell unless he accepted Christianity.  And he would be warned by his Father’s family in Syria that he would be cursed if he didn’t accept Islam.  Repressive religious upbringings can boomerang and catch up with your offspring.

Elliot’s article also points how "a constant in Hammami’s life [is] his striving for another place and purpose."

The zeal to transcend one’s life in this world – the search for purpose and posterity – can be the greatest inspiration for good or evil.

[Read more →]

A troubling portrayal in the New York Review of Books by Peter Beinart of American Jewish leadership and Israeli society is a must reading.

The Failure of the American Jewish Establishment

[Read more →]

With extremism being particularly rampant among some religious followers who become increasingly zealous about their convictions and practices, and with the cartoonish tensions created by black and white contrasts set out by desensitized uber-capitalism vs. new age parsimoniousness, I was struck by the depth and timeliness of these contrasting messages:

With regard to all human traits, the middle of the road is the right path.  For example: Do not be hot-tempered, easily angered.  Nor, on the other hand, should you be unfeeling like a corpse.  Rather, take the middle of the road: keep an even disposition, reserving your anger for occasions when it is truly warranted.  Similarly, do not cultivate a desire for luxuries; keep your eye fixed only on genuine necessities.  In giving to others, do not hold back what you can afford, but do not give so lavishly that you yourself will be impoverished.  Avoid both hysterical gaiety and somber dejection, and instead be calmly joyful always, showing a cheerful countenance.  Act similarly with regard to all the dispositions.  This is the path followed by the wise.

- Maimonides, 12th Century

And

…this path, the one that avoids extremes, is called the ‘path of God,’ and Abraham taught his descendants to follow it.  Whoever follows it gains goodness and blessing, as it is said, "For I have known him, that he might command his children and those who follow him to keep the Lord’s path, doing justice and right, that the Lord may fulfill for Abraham the divine purpose (Genesis 18.19)."

In a remarkable sermon, Syria’s highest Sunni religious authority spoke courageously and powerfully about religions requiring humanity and respect, including these statements:

“If the Prophet Mohammed had asked me to deem Christians or Jews heretics, I would have deemed Mohammed himself a heretic."

Sheikh Ahmed Hassoun also “said Islam was a religion of peace, adding: ‘If Mohammed had commanded us to kill people, I would have told him he was not a prophet.’”

My friend Naif Al-Mutawa is one of the best and most impressive social entrepreneurs, and greatest hopes for this century.  He created a compelling series of Comics, headquartered out of Kuwait and primarily aimed at Muslim youth – creating positive role models with a foundation from Islamic religion.  The 99 is a group of super-heroes, each of whom possesses a super-power derived from the 99 attributes of Allah in the Koran.   The execution and story are so well done, they should appeal to all. Check out this trailer…

Afshin Ellian wrote an excellent piece in the Wall Street Journal.  He concludes it with:

The emergence of a democratic Iran is therefore not only a moral imperative but should be the foreign policy priority of every cold-hearted realist as well as multicultural engager. That’s why it is so incomprehensible that the Obama Administration still prefers dialogue with the apocalyptic ayatollahs over uncompromising support for the people crying out for freedom.

If the protesters shake off the yoke of theocracy and savagery, their success could herald the failure of political Islam way beyond Iran. At this turning point in history the West has no logical alternative but to unequivocally support the Green Revolution. The fate of this movement far outweighs the useless nuclear talks that will only buy the regime time and undeserved international legitimacy. The demonstrators in Iran on Dec. 7 rightfully exclaimed: "Obama, are you with them [the regime] or with us?" History will not judge him lightly if he chooses the wrong side.

For years I have wondered how so many diplomats (including many who are esteemed friends that I admire) delude themselves into believing they can actually get the Iranian regime to drop their quest for nuclear weapons.  Never mind that the regime has invested its entire reputation into asserting that the nuclear option is its G’d-given right.  And never mind that their entire geo-strategic existence relies on nuclear hegemony, not to mention the scary messianic imperatives they seem to want to accelerate with nuclear holocaust, as Ahmadinejad himself explicitly avowed.  If history teaches us anything is that we should take people in power at their word when they proclaim threatening visions in the public fora.

Several years ago, pundits dismissed "regime change" as naive and advocated nuclear containment with Iran instead.  I remember thinking they all had it upside down.  Nuclear containment is unlikely with the present regime.  Admittedly it may also be difficult with a future Iranian leadership.  But at least we won’t have apocalyptic messianics holding on to the red button.  Now that a viable grassroots opposition has risen in Iran demanding freedom and democracy, it will be devastating if they are not given all forms of global support, moral AND otherwise.

[Read more →]

I was really touched by Maureen Dowd’s eulogy column about Abe Pollin.

He follows the tradition of frugal leaders like David Ben-Gurion, and characters from Isaac Bashevis-Singer’s shtetl stories, whose Judaism was about helping those in need.

Interesting article about a pious ayatollah who challenges the “Islamic” claim of the Iranian regime.

I just finished watching Happy-Go-Lucky, directed by Mike Leigh.  Initially I was jarred by the ebullience of the lead character, played with Golden-Globe-winning excellence by Sally Hawkins.  But I stuck through it and discovered a well-executed character study of a woman with an eternally sunny personality (and her impact on others, including an irascible driving instructor solidly played by Eddie Marsan). 

If you think about it, it is pretty rare that we delve into understanding "excessively" positive people, compared to studies of darkness.  Yet the introspection pays off, and really delves nicely and naturally into her philosophy of life, human nature, and social conditioning.

Why do some of us live our lives wanting to be liked by everyone? Is it insecurity (from lack of affection, or from just biological need to be liked)?  Is it a Karmik outlook of life (treat others with warmth and it will come back to you)? Is it our genes? Or our family history or ethnic culture (living in the shadow of the Holocaust)?  Or our upbringing and parental models? Religious teaching? Is it guided by altruism, self-interest, or just being oneself?

And is it a "good" way to live our lives? Can we make this a better world by making others smile? (and doing unexpected acts of kindness for them – or KINDINGS – as KIND is encouraging with KINDED?).  And what drives some people to care so much about others and about making this world better, while others are less so motivated?

Do we yield better people if guided by social awareness and concern or by internal values?

One of my best friends never cares what anyone else thinks about him – and it doesn’t make him any less ethical or upstanding, quite the opposite in his case. He has a solid core of values, does what he feels is right, and doesn’t wonder how society will receive it.  He also doesn’t lose sleep.  But maybe he is a rare case? Certainly there are many examples of people who also do not care about what others may think and who are not role models for society.

Others like me are always wondering how their behavior and actions will be judged by others, very self-aware, introspective, and insecure.  In some ways this insecurity and self-consciousness can be a positive trait that makes us strive to be better and improve.  But it can also increase occasions of grief and worry, and more dangerously for people in positions of power or responsibility (say a politician leading a nation), it can cause them to bend to political/social pressure and potentially reach a wrong but ephemerally popular decision.  And just like in the other strand, there are also examples of self-aware people who may obsess about how others will see them but just put up fake mirrors and end up harming the world no less (think Bernard Madoff).

What is interesting about Poppy, the lead character in Happy-Go-Lucky, is that she is eternally positive and deeply committed to making those around her happier, WITHOUT judging herself or taking herself too seriously.  She is forgiving – of others and of herself.  That is quite interesting. And not as easy to emulate. She seems genuinely interested in healing the world – and in her own way, she quite succeeds at times.

Beyond values and outside impact, as far as our individual journeys in life, it certainly must be the case that having a positive outlook must yield greater happiness and joy in life than seeing life through gray. 

In very deep ways, attitude is destiny.

One of entrepreneurs’ and CEOs’ greater challenges is learning the art of contraction.

CEOs and entrepreneurs may feel they can do a task better than their team members because they have more experience.

But then they will never will build the professional potential of their staff, and their organizations will not reach their full potential, limited as they are by the hours of one human being.

Similarly with children, if overbearing parents control the lives of their kids, these are more apt to become meek children living in the shadow of their parents.

Same with Professors and Coaches and Doctors and Lawyers who have apprentices.

Philosophers of religion, when trying to explain why G’d, though all-powerful and omni-present, does not dominate our lives or otherwise prevent all forms of evil, talk about the supreme power of contraction from G’d, to allow free will to reign.  Were G’d not to contract its power, humans would never be able to have self-determination or otherwise do anything.

The power and the talent of contraction is thus vital to all pursuits where you want to build the strength of your team or eco-system.