My friend Fred Schaufeld auto-replied with the following message out of an email account he no longer uses (presumably because it was flooded by junk):
Greetings,
I now only use this account for stupid jokes, chain letters, and pornography as well as purchases of Viagra (and “V1agra”) discount home mortgages (and “mort gages”), credit repair, special deals from Nigeria, and senders whose names begin with “Honorable,” “Mrs.” or “Greetings,” or end their requests with “Faithfully”. I will forward all chain letters (to at least 16 people); agree with all political outrages; purchase all products and review all pornography (two times) to assure that it doesn’t violate my community’s standards. However, if you want a personal response, please contact me at one of my other email addresses. If you do not know them, please send me your bank information so that I may transfer to you $25 Million USD from my war-torn country.
Faithfully yours,
Mrs. Smith