Daniel Lubetzky

This guy, Randy Pausch, is truly inspiring.  Make sure you tune in till the end of his presentation.

My sister had a really interesting observation on the modern forms of bondage that we experience, relating to the spiritual aspects of Passover…

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Perri Klass wrote a very interesting article on the interplay between modern medicine’s use of anesthesia and its interplay with the far less scientific and more mysterious concepts of consciousness and self.  Anesthesia, as he writes,  encompasses "the allure and the terror of leaving yourself behind."

Ovation Cable TV had a special today on Chuck Close, an American artist/painter whose work is extraordinary.  Take a look on google images and in this website.  No less extraordinary is his background and the challenges he overcame along his life, never letting setbacks keep him down, always surmounting tragedies to come out stronger.  This article does a good job describing his life. He is not just an artist on canvas, but a man who exemplifies the triumphs of the human spirit. His work reflects his efforts to push himself to discover new techniques that keep pushing the envelope. 

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It is striking how often we resort to recasting our fallen leaders into molds of perfected humanity.  No matter their flaws, once assassinated, their death transforms them to immortal epic heroes.

In re-casting our fallen, we humans do not just pay tribute to their courage and compensate them for their lost years.  We also re-write history to make society seem more enlightened and history more bearable, if not downright inspirational. We re-write the fallen to have us seem more pious.

And so it is that Martin Luther King Jr., whose tragic passing we have just commemorated, has been re-written into a Disney prototype of a civil rights leader.  Whereas at 39 years of age this courageous human had failings like all of us, we cast out any weaknesses and remember only his “dream” of co-existence. We purge any problematic comments that some today would consider “unpatriotic.” And we conveniently forget that on the night that he was killed he was being called everything from a sell-out to a “menacing” instigator by leading newspapers and critics. According to modern lore, we fantasize that he embraced and was embraced by all of mainstream America, except by the one coward who shot him.

The phenomena of post-mortem-transformations is not uniquely American. Yitzhak Rabin is now revered by all Israelis as a unifying symbol, the soldier of peace who sacrificed his life for the cause. He should indeed be admired. But history seems to have conveniently swept aside that a large percentage of the Israeli population considered him a reckless traitor and the media was replete with condemnations and calls for his lynching in the weeks leading to his assassination.

Why is lionizing historic figures a problem? Don’t we all need to be inspired? Yes, but in transmogrifying the fallen into impossibly perfect figures to emulate, we make it very difficult to sufficiently appreciate and praise the mere good effort of the still-living leaders, not to mention our own responsibility to do our small part.

Why is re-casting history a problem? Because it turns deficient but illustrative history into unusable fairy-tale legend, and it leads us to draw distorted lessons from the past.

Gandhi, for example, was an exceptional leader, but he was not – as most people imagine him today – a heavenly pacifist.  Yes, his tools were non-violent, but his strategies were often not.  He was a brilliant strategist who knew he had the high moral ground and forced violence to be inflicted on his people in order to arouse moral rage around the world. He would ask his followers to walk and push their way through British soldier lines, knowing the soldiers would be forced to either give up control or hold the line through brutal force against defenseless white robed activists. He did not draw blood but caused others to draw it. Yes, one can admire Gandhi’s many positive contributions, but nobody is served by blind exultation of his “non-violent” path without critical examination of his means.

Contrast Gandhi’s approach to the still-living Dalai Lama, who has at least so far truly adopted a path of absolute non-violence, calling on Tibetan youth not to engage in violence or cause violence to be unleashed upon them, advising he will resign as spiritual and political leader if his call is not heeded. Gandhi would most likely have reacted differently. We have yet to see if the Dalai Lama’s path will change the status quo in Tibet, but if the path itself is the way, there is plenty to study and reflect in his life.

Only by analyzing the unvarnished nuances of human character can we accurately evaluate our past, our present, and our future.

Only by avoiding the tendency to create mythical messianic figures who must come to the rescue to rid us of human suffering can we own up to our shared responsibility as human beings, however imperfect and flawed we may be, to do a little of the leading ourselves.

My friend Andy Komaroff shared this beautiful poem tonight at the rehearsal dinner for my wedding:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,

If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

I often carry around old newspapers whose op-eds or articles I hadn’t read.  Some times I may be dumb enough to bring one copy across half a dozen trips before getting to it, only to realize I was carrying dead weight.

Not just now, when I caught up with last week’s op-ed page from the New York Times, which included an extraordinary piece from Sarah Vowell and a good column from William Kristol.

From Vowell (whose piece goes far beyond the issues covered here), I read about pure Christian theology’s precepts, as taught by Jesus of Nazareth, to "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you."  Too bad many followers intoxicated by organized religion’s quest for power forgot this precept.

But Martin Luther King Jr. did not.  He applied the Sermon on the Mount in his ‘loving your enemies’ sermon:

So this morning, as I look into your eyes and into the eyes of all of my brothers in Alabama and all over America and over the world, I say to you: ‘I love you. I would rather die than hate you.’

I am a bit embarrassed that I had never heard of this sermon, though I recently went through an experience that made me reflect about similar issues.

Back around late September and early October, when groups that opposed negotiations between Israel and Palestine for a two-state-solution or that did not understand or agree with OneVoice’s mission of mobilizing ordinary citizens to push for an agreement threatened some of our staff and performers, I clumped together attackers and critics, and was overcome with an intense sense of injustice and a hatred that I did not know I had in me.

Postponing the October 18th OneVoice Summit was a painful setback for the team and all our supporters, and it made me feel like I let down so many people and haunted me for a long time (still occasionally now).

Eventually our 18 month campaign not only overcame this setback, but continued to attract support, surpassing 650,000 signatories of the OneVoice Mandate to date, and validating its efforts when the Israeli, Palestinian and American Heads of State committed almost verbatim to the OneVoice Mandate.

But no less important was the internal growth that I experienced during that tough period, when I found myself taking a very wrong path of anger and resentment against those attacking or even just criticizing my team members.  Eventually I turned back from that dark alley into a path you can only see from the contrast of the darkness.  I felt what it was to hate, and I realized I had to reject it.  The experience had a lasting impression and impact on my thoughts about civic activism.

It is not enough to push for the peace process; it is not enough to awaken moderate voices, even though OneVoice recognizes that is tactically the most cost-effective choice to push the process along and highlight there is a partner on both sides.  As we gain momentum, we must also truly pursue peace with ALL.

Northern Ireland’s experience is instructive.  The movement also started with mainstream grassroots disaffected citizens – Mothers.  But eventually it broadened, and it enveloped and involved the leaders from the entrenched militant groups, which were at the table when the deals were struck.

The danger with excluding specific groups and branding them as extremist is that you don’t leave space for the people to evolve in their thought process, but cage them as the enemy, and leave them no other option but to struggle against your vision, which may include the "other", but may exclude some of your own.

Many who believe in a mission of a two state solution think that the only way to get there is to attack those who oppose it, but you end up creating a different type of enemy.  Somehow some proponents of peace with the other side have no qualms about fighting with their own.

The journey is as important as the destination.  Pursuing peace by demonizing those you consider to oppose it creates a different type of war.  Whether it is Israel’s far left which sometimes hates the Israeli right with as much intensity as the Israeli far right hates the Arabs (and the Israeli left), or whether it is someone from Fatah that hates Hamas, or whether it is a Jew who fears or resents a Muslim or vice-versa, all of the paths of hatred must be fought.

As painful as it is to the Israeli left, they need to engage the settlers in a dialogue and welcome them back to the mainstream.  This is of course very hard because the settlers are not aching to come in, to say the least, not to mention they want to keep the Israeli left out. 

As painful as it is to Palestinian seculars and intellectuals, and to the Fatah power base, they will need to find a way to attract Hamas supporters, many of whom were attracted to the grassroots authenticity of the Hamas movement’s struggle for liberation and turned off by corrupted officials entrenched in power.

And what do you do about those who ideologically cannot reconcile with peace? How do you deal with core Hamas leaders who believe Greater Palestine is an Islamic Waqf (a Trust from the Almighty) which cannot be negotiated away? How do you relate to settlers who feel Greater Israel is a grant to the Jewish people (a Trust from the Almighty), one which cannot be negotiated away?

THESE are the instances where you most must fight all impulses to hate.  You must hold on to your principle, and try to reason.  But where your reason does not permeate into theirs, you must continue inviting them to come in to your tent one day, and offer that they can reconcile their beliefs with the reality of two peoples destined to co-exist by keeping their spiritual absolutism in their hearts, respectfully, and not forgetting their religious precepts which also require respect and love to other human beings.

It is a very hard thing to achieve an approach of unbending love and respect towards all, and probably only saints like MLK Jr. or Gandhi truly achieve such pure empathy. 

After all, when you perceive an injustice to be done, you feel justified, almost morally-bound, to resent the person that commits the injustice.  If the injustice is great, you may feel an impulse to hate the aggressor.  But I guess you must at least TRY to catch that impulse and fight it.  It does NOT mean you don’t fight the injustice; it means you try to get the transgressor to fight it too.  And this requires a lot of love.

Otherwise, with so much animosity and pain and fear and suspicions and suffering, it will eat you and turn you into that which you most want to fight.

William Kristol writes about what makes John McCain different from the other Republicans running for their party’s nomination, including being "the not-so-modern type [that is shaped by political consultants, being]…rigid, self-righteous, and moralizing, but (or rather and) manly, courageous, and principled."  He tells how McCain memorized as a child, and recited to Kristol on a patchy cell phone call, this extraordinary poem about conviction and courage of the soul:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbow’d

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley, Invictus (1875), as quoted by McCain and told by Kristol, who surmises McCain must have recited this more than once during his captivity as a prisoner of war. 

What is remarkable about McCain is that for the most part when I hear him (with the notable exception of his California debate against Romney), he seems to be the captain of his soul and to fight to uphold principles he holds dear, including some times supporting a tough military course without hating his enemy and without doing things out of spite.  He too lets people like Romney get the best of him.  And it is starkly unattractive.  But for the most part, he rises above petty politics.  He acts out of nobility and puts US interests ahead of himself or his campaign.

I just got the email below from one of those annoying chain letter emails that people forward to each other.  But I read it and it made me shed a tear.  So instead of forwarding it, I am posting it here.  I have no idea if this is a true story, but it really does not matter.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, ‘Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.’
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in th e grass about ten feet from him
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, ‘Those guys are jerks. ‘
They really should get lives.
‘ He looked at me and said, ‘Hey thanks!’
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carr ied some of his books
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, ‘Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
‘ He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I wa s going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, ‘Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!’
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
‘ Thanks,’ he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
‘Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach..but mostly your friends…
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.’
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
‘Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.’
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.

"I discovered that a person cannot live a full life under the shadow of bitterness."

- Benjamin Zander’s father.  As reported by Benjamin at a closing session in Davos, his father was in Auschwitz and then interned in a refugee camp in England, followed by many setbacks, yet always had a positive disposition.

Two years ago, Conductor Benjamin Zander gave a talk to our youth leaders.  He explained how the ‘downward spiral’ mentality must be replaced by ‘radiant possibilities.’  He encourages people, after making mistakes, to think ‘how fascinating,’ learn the lesson, make the best of it and see the silver lining and move on.

Benjamin shared how, shortly after 9/11, New Yorkers attended a concert in Carnegie Hall with the Boston Philarmonic. Every New Yorker attended for free, including 150 firemen and 100 police officers, and each ticket was purchased by an anonymous person from Boston in solidarity.

He also related the story of a woman who, as a child during World War II, chastized her younger brother, "Why did you forget your shoes?" It turned out these were the last words she would ever tell her brother, who was killed that afternoon.  From then on, she committed she’d only say things to people that could be the last things you say to them.

I am taking a minute to blog about the loss of Heath Ledger, not because he was a famous actor that so many of us found exceptionally talented, but because the one time I randomly met him at the lobby of a hotel in NYC I was struck by how sweet, warm, playful, funny, and down-to-earth he was.  Our world lost a very gentle soul, and I suspect the news of his loss struck so many of us not just because he was famous, but because you could sense his natural goodness.  May his family be comforted by knowing he was a noble human being.